Aunt Pearl is the head of her family and rules as its craziest, or is she? Anna Conda is the proprietor of the Hula Chateaux Resort and Spa in lovely downtown Las Vegas. Among her many achievements, she’s responsible for teaching Carol Channing how to gasp and has traveled everywhere in the known world but Utah.

1) When was the last time you were in SF?

AUNT PEARL: I can't remember but I attended an art show in the warehouse district there, everything was so savvy, but the art was all black panels. I had headaches for weeks.

ANNA CONDA: I attended a Carmen Miranda Film Festival there in the 1970s. There wasn’t a fresh banana to be found south of Marin County, and if the fruit flies had been any thicker, Jerry Brown would have sent in helicopters to spray us.

2) What does Tuna, Texas, have in common with San Francisco, CA?

AUNT PEARL: Absolutely nothing and they aim to keep it that way.

ANNA CONDA: San Francisco has a thriving gay community and so does Tuna. I’ve met him, and he’s thriving.

3) Is there anything you brought to SF because you couldn't leave home without it?

AUNT PEARL: My best laying hen. I got her past airport security pretending she was a puppet. The kids love it but having them all around me on the plane was working my last nerve.

ANNA CONDA: A heterosexual bodyguard with a sleep disorder.

4) What are your favorite places to go in San Francisco?

AUNT PEARL: I always go down to Chinatown and start a fight.

ANNA CONDA: Coit Tower, but to tell you why would betray the confidence of an old paramour.

5) And, favorite things to do?

Aunt Pearl: I always go to the top of the Mark for a festive cocktail and a quick look at the rich boys and Sears Fine Food Restaurant is my favorite breakfast of corn beef hash with two eggs over easy.

Anna Conda: Run from the fog.

6) What can you get in San Francisco that you can't get in Tuna, TX?

Aunt Pearl: Hamburger Mary's

Anna Conda: A baked pigeon, chopped in half, and served on a bed of rice.

7) And, vice versa?

Aunt Pearl: A sand storm festival.

Anna Conda: Cream gravy on French toast.

8) Are there any notable San Franciscans that you'd like to meet while you are here and why?

Aunt Pearl: That catcher for the Giants has caught my eye before, but never date a catcher they signal in their sleep.

Anna Conda: Well, I used to hang out with Willie Brown, but he took so much time dressing, we were always late for the card game.

9) What do you miss most about Tuna when you are away from home?

Aunt Pearl: I miss my fainting goats. I use them for therapy, screaming through the back door, watching them faint from fright. Funniest thing I ever saw. Great way to start the day.

Anna Conda: Well, it’s a great place to rest, if you’re not skittish about poisonous snakes.

10) Is there something we haven't asked that you'd like to share with the San Francisco Best of Broadway audience?

Aunt Pearl: Don't count me out yet..I was the only one that knew a proper fox- trot dance at the 1995 Tony Gala.

Anna Conda: You must come see me in Tuna Does Vegas. I’m marvelous. When Vanessa Redgrave caught my performance, she decided to throw in the acting towel and open up a bait stand.

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